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  • Writer's pictureTina Radcliffe

Diary of a Novelist

Updated: Nov 6, 2019


Dear Diary:

My agent wants me to write that dog story.

What does she know?

The muse has landed. This is the book of my heart. My legacy. I have been inspired to write a big concept, amazing, incredible story. INTO THE FOG!

Into the Fog, nominated for six Academy Awards by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

Including Best Screen Play Adaptation (Insert my name here).

All I have to do is convince my editor....

Music on my iPhone: Another Day in Paradise-Phil Collins


Dear Diary:

Editorial approval. Booyah!

Hmm. I wonder what Booyah really means.

Oops, it's Ooh Rah.

Ooh Rah is a battle cry common in the United States Marine Corps since the mid-20th century. It is comparable to hooah in the US Army and hooyah in the US Navy and US Coast Guard. It is most commonly used to respond to a verbal greeting or as an expression of enthusiasm.-Wikipedia.

  • Note to self - Can I put a Marine in this book??

My editor sent a twelve page letter of bullet point concerns.

I laugh in the face of concerns.

On to the important stuff.

Notes to self:

Still need Jimmy Fallon's phone number.

  • Is renting Bradley Cooper considered soliciting? If so, is it a felony?

  • Find dress for the Oscars. Preferably one that makes me look five inches taller, forty pounds thinner, and ten..okay, twenty years younger.

Music on iPhone-Don't Rain on My Parade-Barbara Streisand


Dear Diary:

Who do I want to take on this journey with me?

Michael Hauge -Six Stage Plot Structure

Christopher Vogler-The Writer's Journey

Randy Ingermanson- The Snowflake Method

Blake Snyder- Save the Cat

Robert McKee- Story

Dr. Stanley Williams-The Moral Premise

First must clean my office and prepare my desk.

Chapter 1.

It was a dark and stormy night....

Music on iPhone-Don't Stop Believing-Journey


Dear Diary:

How many pages a day do I need to write to finish this thing by deadline?


This isn't good.

(Maybe my calculator is broken.)

Music on iPhone: I Dreamed a Dream-Susan Boyle


Dear Diary:

Situations have arisen that make me unable to offer up my first born son as a sacrifice. Must come up with Plan B-immediately.


Are you there?

Note to self:

  • Schedule medical appointment for after July 1st deadline. Find out why hair is falling out in clumps.

  • Check Web MD. Find out if chalk tongue is a symptom of Tums overdose.

  • What is the world record for days in a row of eating pizza? Contact Ripley's.

  • If husband asks you where his socks are one more time remember to use library computer to research arsenic poisoning.

  • Find out what I did with that twelve page letter of bullet point concerns.

Music on my iPhone: The Tide is High-Blondie


Dear Diary:

My deepest fears have come to pass!

Time to face facts. The ship has sailed without me. I am a has-been adrift in choppy waters. My life as a writer is over.

I S.U.C.K.

Not only do I suck, but I write slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Why did I think I was qualified to write this book anyhow?

My mother was right. (Shoot me now!) I should have been a teacher.

Note to self:

  • Call bank for loan to pay back advance

  • Practice saying, "Do you want fries with that?" without sobbing.

Music on my iPhone: Big Girls Don't Cry- Frankie Valli

June Addendum:

Dear Diary

Thank you, God.

I am never doing this again. EVER!!

I am done.


Note to self:

  • Update resume immediately.

  • Consider career as a teacher.

Music on iPhone- Handel's Messiah


Dear Diary:

This really isn't too bad. I sort of like it.

Actually, it's pretty good.

Note to self:

  • Write the dog story next. Sigh.

  • Oh, and find Jimmy Fallon's number.


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